ted and i are placing an amazon order today for a book that he needs for his thesis (and i've been longing to have for awhile), _the matrix_, and a book on childbirth (bradley, for those of you in the know). this was his email to me, in full:
SWEETNESS. we can read about birth coaching and bolshevism all at once. and decide whether to take the red pill or the blue pill.
i love that he considers how all these disparate items can coalesce perfectly in our lives. i think this bodes well for jordan. s/he will have a good chance of being a diplomat or a disaffected pop culture fiend. or, s/he could combine those fields and become a rock star.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
babski is the measure of all things
one of the most reassuring aspects of pregnancy is its constant progress. in fact, the birth, though always inevitable, takes on speed as we move through these 40 weeks. it reminds me of first beginning to pedal my bike in a high gear -- the first few revolutions can be tough going, but then you break into a rhythm and the speed comes naturally.
this constant progress coincides with a straightforward system of measurement. i love measuring everything. i love i-tunes because it tells me how many songs i have, how many albums, how many artists. it tells me what songs i've listened to the most, and when i've listened to them. i-tunes is a great tool for distilling the abstract (MUSIC) into the real (my favorite 25 songs). i do think my love of measurement and time stems from an interest in articulating the abstract. MUSIC -- what can i say about music? what can anyone say? however, i can talk your ear off about my favorite songs and singers. you all know that.
strangely, i have not obsessed on measuring jordan. i've been anxious to hear about his/her healthy progress at each of our midwife visits (the most recent was yesterday, and everything continues to be fine). erin and i both realized this weekend that we're beginning to lose track of the weeks (31 now, right?). part of this lies in jordan's acceleration. we can both tell that our child is thriving and happy (and funny). i think we both also sense an eagerness to enter the world. of course, that might be a displacement of my own emotion. i get all mushy just thinking about holding this baby.
so what is my point? i realized i'm not too worried about measuring the days and weeks, though it seems a natural situation in which to apply that model. no, i don't think i need to this time round. i think it's because there is nothing abstract about jordan. the kid is here. the kid is real. the kid is funny as hell.
this constant progress coincides with a straightforward system of measurement. i love measuring everything. i love i-tunes because it tells me how many songs i have, how many albums, how many artists. it tells me what songs i've listened to the most, and when i've listened to them. i-tunes is a great tool for distilling the abstract (MUSIC) into the real (my favorite 25 songs). i do think my love of measurement and time stems from an interest in articulating the abstract. MUSIC -- what can i say about music? what can anyone say? however, i can talk your ear off about my favorite songs and singers. you all know that.
strangely, i have not obsessed on measuring jordan. i've been anxious to hear about his/her healthy progress at each of our midwife visits (the most recent was yesterday, and everything continues to be fine). erin and i both realized this weekend that we're beginning to lose track of the weeks (31 now, right?). part of this lies in jordan's acceleration. we can both tell that our child is thriving and happy (and funny). i think we both also sense an eagerness to enter the world. of course, that might be a displacement of my own emotion. i get all mushy just thinking about holding this baby.
so what is my point? i realized i'm not too worried about measuring the days and weeks, though it seems a natural situation in which to apply that model. no, i don't think i need to this time round. i think it's because there is nothing abstract about jordan. the kid is here. the kid is real. the kid is funny as hell.
Monday, September 10, 2007
our second wedding
ted and i went to a wedding a few weeks ago and got someone to take some pictures of us. i think this sequence really conveys a certain, what the french would call, 'i don't know what' about our relationship.
jordan's stuff
we've been working on jordan's space and are ready to share some pictures of it. enjoy!
Saturday, September 8, 2007
it's a lovely day in the neighborhood
this is like a krogering story, but it isn't.
there's a man who walks through our neighborhood several times a day. ted calls him cletis (courtesy of 'the simpsons') because he really is our very own slack-jawed yokel. shortly after we moved in, got zoe, and i returned from teaching the summer away in miami, i met cletis. i had little zoe-pups in the front yard, watching her trip over her very big paws. she was just eight weeks old. cletis came ambling down the sidewalk. i guessed that he'd come from the general direction of 'the hot spot,' a sketchy gas station/buffet that has since been renamed 'tasty haven.' sometimes on saturday afternoons, someone sells chicken out of a white van in front of 'tasty haven,' but that's neither here nor there.
cletis shuffled to a stop in front of zoe and me, with a tender look on his face and, i swear, the glistening of tears in his eyes. he was emoting over zoe. admittedly, she was the cutest little bear-cub-pups on the planet, but i was surprised that the seemingly hard exterior of a long-term substance abuser (so i'm assuming) could so easily dissolve in the presence of a furball.
and then we met.
cletis drawled, 'that's a cute pup. shepherd? gonna be a big'un.' he then bent down and with one hand, scooped her easily off the ground. for a moment, i thought he was comparing her weight to the open 40 in his other hand, but then i realized he was just weighing her objectively. 'bout eight pounds so far,' he pronounced. zoe went to the vet the next day, and sure enough she weighed eight pounds.
the point of this story is to introduce you to cletis and the prowess of his observational powers.
i haven't seen cletis in some time because we've been keeping different hours. i saw him this afternoon, and he noticed i was pregnant. expressing his surprise, he said, 'i didn't know you was pregnant!' as i neared him on the sidewalk, i saw that he had that same glistening-eye expression. apparently babskis in potentia rate right up there with pups. after making sure that ted and i were married and high-fiving me on all the good decisions that i'd made in my life, he asked if we knew the sex of the baby. i said we didn't, and that it was going to be a surprise. he stepped back, and using only his eyes, appraised my belly in the same way that he weighed zoe three years ago. 'it's gonna be a little girl.'
there you have it.
ted is dj'ing for us, jordan is doing an intergalactic version of the electric slide (i don't know what it means, but jordan does), and the dogs are dancing with ted. i should sign off and enjoy these moments.
there's a man who walks through our neighborhood several times a day. ted calls him cletis (courtesy of 'the simpsons') because he really is our very own slack-jawed yokel. shortly after we moved in, got zoe, and i returned from teaching the summer away in miami, i met cletis. i had little zoe-pups in the front yard, watching her trip over her very big paws. she was just eight weeks old. cletis came ambling down the sidewalk. i guessed that he'd come from the general direction of 'the hot spot,' a sketchy gas station/buffet that has since been renamed 'tasty haven.' sometimes on saturday afternoons, someone sells chicken out of a white van in front of 'tasty haven,' but that's neither here nor there.
cletis shuffled to a stop in front of zoe and me, with a tender look on his face and, i swear, the glistening of tears in his eyes. he was emoting over zoe. admittedly, she was the cutest little bear-cub-pups on the planet, but i was surprised that the seemingly hard exterior of a long-term substance abuser (so i'm assuming) could so easily dissolve in the presence of a furball.
and then we met.
cletis drawled, 'that's a cute pup. shepherd? gonna be a big'un.' he then bent down and with one hand, scooped her easily off the ground. for a moment, i thought he was comparing her weight to the open 40 in his other hand, but then i realized he was just weighing her objectively. 'bout eight pounds so far,' he pronounced. zoe went to the vet the next day, and sure enough she weighed eight pounds.
the point of this story is to introduce you to cletis and the prowess of his observational powers.
i haven't seen cletis in some time because we've been keeping different hours. i saw him this afternoon, and he noticed i was pregnant. expressing his surprise, he said, 'i didn't know you was pregnant!' as i neared him on the sidewalk, i saw that he had that same glistening-eye expression. apparently babskis in potentia rate right up there with pups. after making sure that ted and i were married and high-fiving me on all the good decisions that i'd made in my life, he asked if we knew the sex of the baby. i said we didn't, and that it was going to be a surprise. he stepped back, and using only his eyes, appraised my belly in the same way that he weighed zoe three years ago. 'it's gonna be a little girl.'
there you have it.
ted is dj'ing for us, jordan is doing an intergalactic version of the electric slide (i don't know what it means, but jordan does), and the dogs are dancing with ted. i should sign off and enjoy these moments.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
high fidelity
this is a blog about how much i love ted. i've been thinking about how to compose this entry for about a week now, and i still can't decide how to start. so i'll begin twice.
first, some words from that lyrical boy band, modest mouse:
'you're the places that i wanted to go.'
second, an anecdote from last week:
i had my 28 week midwife appointment last tuesday, which was the visit during which i had bloodwork to test for gestational diabetes, anemia, and because we live in north carolina, syphilis. this involved drinking a pretty disgusting red beverage exactly one hour before my blood was drawn. ted has been to all of my appointments so far, and he wants to come to all the rest, but i thought the prospect of blood being involved this time might put him off.
not so.
when i got home that afternoon to drink my drink, he was scarfing down tacos like there was no tomorrow. preparing for what could have been a long visit without any hope of food, he was strategically eating a hefty snack to get him through the next few hours. we ended up leaving really early for the appointment in order to get there on time. this of course involved waiting forever to get called in for the bloodwork. when i was finally called, ted headed down the hall with me and was going to go into the room, but they told him that i would be sent back out to the waiting room before the midwife saw us, so he trooped back out there to wait.
now, if you know ted, you know that he can't stand needles or the sight of blood. it's not even a really funny joke to play on him because his reaction is so strong. trust me, i learned this the hard way with frozen cherries.
i'm still impressed that he was willing to be so near a procedure that makes him so uncomfortable. after two tries to get my blood (the first puncture mysteriously closed), we made our way back to the examination room, only to be forgotten briefly by the midwife. after being measured and hearing the baby's heartbeat and listening to incessant anecdotes (this is the midwife we're not fond of; can you tell?), jordan and i were once again pronounced in good health. ted and i left in search of delicious fizzy drinks and made our way eastward to durham.
i appreciate so much that he goes on these visits with me, not only to share in the celebratory drink afterwards, but to be there every time we hear jordan's heart pumping away. it's never convenient to swing over to chapel hill for an hour during the work week, but ted continues to do it, and i'm so grateful to him.
he also does this fantastic, quotidian thing: when i get home, or when he stops playing 'bioshock,' he asks me how i am *and* how jordan is. this kid may be parasitically sucking up all the nutrients in my body, but ted recognizes that we are in some ways separate beings and can have separate kinds of days, even though we inhabit the same elastic expanse of skin.
there are millions of other reasons i love ted, and not all of them have to do with his impressive ability to be paternal and my best pal at the same time. for instance, i also love how he dances like a deranged hobbit in order to induce me to dance with him like a slightly more normal, but ever-so-white person, at dance-friendly events. i love that he thinks he's tested out of birth classes. i love that he doesn't begrudge jordan for having nicer stuff than he has. and i love that he insisted that this tiny baby have excellent bose speakers to listen to whenever music is necessary, which is often. high fidelity for sure.
first, some words from that lyrical boy band, modest mouse:
'you're the places that i wanted to go.'
second, an anecdote from last week:
i had my 28 week midwife appointment last tuesday, which was the visit during which i had bloodwork to test for gestational diabetes, anemia, and because we live in north carolina, syphilis. this involved drinking a pretty disgusting red beverage exactly one hour before my blood was drawn. ted has been to all of my appointments so far, and he wants to come to all the rest, but i thought the prospect of blood being involved this time might put him off.
not so.
when i got home that afternoon to drink my drink, he was scarfing down tacos like there was no tomorrow. preparing for what could have been a long visit without any hope of food, he was strategically eating a hefty snack to get him through the next few hours. we ended up leaving really early for the appointment in order to get there on time. this of course involved waiting forever to get called in for the bloodwork. when i was finally called, ted headed down the hall with me and was going to go into the room, but they told him that i would be sent back out to the waiting room before the midwife saw us, so he trooped back out there to wait.
now, if you know ted, you know that he can't stand needles or the sight of blood. it's not even a really funny joke to play on him because his reaction is so strong. trust me, i learned this the hard way with frozen cherries.
i'm still impressed that he was willing to be so near a procedure that makes him so uncomfortable. after two tries to get my blood (the first puncture mysteriously closed), we made our way back to the examination room, only to be forgotten briefly by the midwife. after being measured and hearing the baby's heartbeat and listening to incessant anecdotes (this is the midwife we're not fond of; can you tell?), jordan and i were once again pronounced in good health. ted and i left in search of delicious fizzy drinks and made our way eastward to durham.
i appreciate so much that he goes on these visits with me, not only to share in the celebratory drink afterwards, but to be there every time we hear jordan's heart pumping away. it's never convenient to swing over to chapel hill for an hour during the work week, but ted continues to do it, and i'm so grateful to him.
he also does this fantastic, quotidian thing: when i get home, or when he stops playing 'bioshock,' he asks me how i am *and* how jordan is. this kid may be parasitically sucking up all the nutrients in my body, but ted recognizes that we are in some ways separate beings and can have separate kinds of days, even though we inhabit the same elastic expanse of skin.
there are millions of other reasons i love ted, and not all of them have to do with his impressive ability to be paternal and my best pal at the same time. for instance, i also love how he dances like a deranged hobbit in order to induce me to dance with him like a slightly more normal, but ever-so-white person, at dance-friendly events. i love that he thinks he's tested out of birth classes. i love that he doesn't begrudge jordan for having nicer stuff than he has. and i love that he insisted that this tiny baby have excellent bose speakers to listen to whenever music is necessary, which is often. high fidelity for sure.
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