Monday, July 16, 2007

kroger is extrajordanary

ted is now designating events, outings, attitudes, conversations, etc as 'jordanary' or 'extrajordanary.' a jordanary conversation would be one in which jordan was just one of many illuminating topics, though always lurking in the background when not hogging the spotlight. he says that all of my days are most likely jordanary since jordan is, you know, always with me.

something qualifies as extrajordanary if it is fully saturated with jordan and all things baby. registering for baby showers was definitely an extrajordanary experience, e.g.

now, kroger wouldn't normally be considered extrajordanary, if it weren't for the (un)timely return of lisa, ted's favorite cashier. he likes her so much not for her cheerful demeanor, or her incisive comments about our purchases, or her virtuosity with the produce codes, but because she seems to have an enormous crush on me. we haven't seen her in a long time, which has been fine by me, but ted misses those moments when we're both standing there, waiting to pay, and lisa only has eyes and ears for me. she treats him like, if anything, a mess on her conveyor belt to be cleaned up before she can go on break. i can pinpoint the beginning of her infatuation with me and disdain for ted to thanksgiving, when i told her that ted was cooking the turkey in a garbage can in our front yard. but i digress...

well, yesterday we went krogering, and in a surprise reversal of roles, lisa was bagging our groceries and talking to ted. she noticed jordan's presence among us (it's undeniable now), and proceeded to pelt ted with well-meaning questions. she then asked if we knew the sex of the baby or if we were going to find out. we told her no and no, to which she stepped back, gave me a thorough once-over (ted liked this part), and declared that it was going to be a girl.

so there you have it folks, a gender prediction from a near stranger--the first of many, i hope. hey, everyone's got a 50% chance of being right.

3 comments:

Erin's mom Debbie said...

I love Krogering stories, especially after my visit with you two. I remember Ted looking for your "special cashier" on one of our many trips there. When Jordan is born you will have to make a point of letting her know how right or wrong she was.

Peregrino said...

That cashier is a present day oracle of delphi. or of lesbos. i forget where i want to place her in the wine-dark sea. you do realize that the jordan joke has gone out ouf control, and Grammy Deb is using it as your child's Christian name?

erin said...

dear yucky matt,

everyone i know calls my progeny jordan. i met some of mom and bob's neighbors last night, and now they're calling the kid jordan. it's a contagion, but less virulent than cholera, and with fewer nasty side effects.

as for the cashier, my vote is for delphi. lesbos only housed that fine lyric poet in the wine-dark sea.