From Minutiae to the Grandiose

I don't know whether to feel good or bad that I'm not able to be around tednerin for all the awesome trivial things that add to the momentum of having a baba. It's sad not to be around for those things, but at the same time it forces me to approach this phenomenon with more of a vague and philosophical perception.
Like last night, I finished reading "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" for the second time, which is a good book but iterates over and over how difficult and confusing life can be. And I agree. But at the same time, the overwhelming majority of John (79%) holds life to be a constant source of wonder, joy, and bemusement.
So as I think about this NEW LIFE getting ready to crash the party the world is currently having, I'm excited for it/him/her. Jordan will have a whole new, different mentality, different associations and experiences, different everything. S/he won't lack for knowledge because of his/her parents, so the ways in which this child grows up and views things will be a lot of fun to watch. Especially when the world's so damn fun anyway.
So here's to you two!

when an impulse buy becomes so much more

i think the krogering blog will become a commonly-seen subgenre of our posts. here's one from today. we were in the check-out, and i pointed out a pack of gum to ted. i thought he would pounce on it because we saw a strange commercial for the product before 'the bourne ultimatum' yesterday. once i reminded him of the gum's first appearance in our lives, he became enchanted and told me that it did indeed look powerful. after having it scanned, he opened the package and proceeded to show me the clever way in which the gum was packaged, which had to be nothing but greater proof of the gum's superiority over all others.

the cashier and i shared a knowing glance that said, 'ah, he's your first child, and that melon on front of you will be your second.' i sidled down the lane and said to ted, 'why have a child at all.'

meanwhile, he's capering about, giving me his first impressions of the gum.

the bagger, an older man who we're calling uncle willy because we don't know his real name and he just looked the part, responded to me, thinking that the question was not only not rhetorical, but also unironic. he said, 'so you have someone to love you when you get old.'

abashed, with spearamint-y mouths, we left kroger for the day.

johr-din. my name is johr-din.

as you know, jordan's voice is laced with a heavy, raspy brooklyn accent. i don't know why, but i know it's true.

jordan is also obsessed with saying his/her name. over and over again, all day long, i hear 'johr-din. my name is johr-din.' ted and i are pretty sure that once jordan's out and about that s/he will continue to make up songs about his/her name.

the only thing missing from this video is jordan's name. big thanks to kirsten for sending it to me and ensuring that 'snape, snape, severus snape' is seared into my brain for all time.

if my womb were the parisian banlieus

we just got home from seeing 'the bourne ultimatum,' which was thrilling from beginning to end. i loved it. ted loved it. and jordan loved it.

i know this because jordan harbours a deep love for the cinema that rivals ours, but i also know this because jordan was going NUTZ in the womb for all the exciting bits in the movie. now, for those of you who haven't seen it yet (why are you reading this instead of going to see the movie?), the exciting parts happen one right after another throughout the entire movie. it's a thrillcoaster.

ted wants me to say that all this movement might have something to do with the diet dr. pepper and pudding that i snuck into the movie. to that i say: whev. he just said something about the death star. and han solo smuggling. whev again.

now he said: jerk ass.
fair enough.

ANYway. i was thinking of how to best approximate what it feels like when jordan gets especially spry in utero, and i think this video sums it up.

apparently jordan thinks my web is a bustling european metropolis. and if you didn't know, 'banlieu' means suburb in french.

friday's miscellany

so. i've just taken a short walk between the english department building on campus and the library to print out a few articles that most likely hold the key to my dissertation. reading them will clearly be as monumental a moment as that one guy had when he first read the rosetta stone. it seemed to be blazingly hot during my little walk, and upon returning and checking the ever-reliable weather.com, i find that it's a mere 101 degrees, with a heat index hovering around 108. ah, summer in north carolina.

my week in indiana seems so much longer ago than it really was. ted and i had a great time, and i had a wonderful time with mom and bob before ted showed up mid-week to join the festivities. i feel like i'm still reeling from the generosity that was heaped upon us at our showers--and all week long, really. we left with a full car-load of baby gear. ted has complained that it's strewn about the house, which is patently untrue. everything little and soft has been put away in the dresser (thank you nan and pop!). now all we need to do is actually move the furniture around in the office so that the crib (thank you, mom!) and cedar chest (thank you dad and hope!) become usable objects rather than a laundry storage site and a bench.

it's true that on the ride home from indiana, jordan's voice manifested itself to me in a raspy brooklyn accent, the perfect sound for such a scaramouche (word of the day, people. subscribe.) of a child. i don't know why this is, but it's been funny around the house, and argos now loves being called in jordan's voice. they're going to be the best of pals.

in other news, jordan's been zooming around in the womb, practicing quidditch moves. i've been getting some pretty strong thumpings lately--so much so that my belly actually pulsates. it would be gross if it weren't so cool. of course, staying true to obstinate form, jordan still refuses to punch, kick, or flip on demand. good kid.

i think that's it for now. everything continues to go smoothly, and we continue to be overwhelmed by our family's generosity and excitement. i wonder if jordan knows how much s/he is anticipated and loved already? if so, it'll probably just make the kid want to be as late in arriving as possible--you know, to build up suspense. i would like to just calmly remind this child that s/he is *not* a magic trick and will not need to rely on cheap stage effects to produce awe and wonder at his/her arrival. we'll see how that goes.

erin is losing her mind

i received this email from erin today. it is meant to be read aloud, in a heavy brooklyn accent. for erin, it represents the voice of jordan from the womb.

here's a little dialogue for your reading pleasure:

where's my puddin!, sez jordan.

you get it after dinner, i sez to jordan, i sez.

can i have a hawt dawg fuah dinnewh? (i wrote this part in response to erin -- the rest is completely hers)

NO.

but you can have a soy pups.

SOY PUPS! SOY PUPS!

not dissuaded, jordan changes tack: well wheay's ah-gos!
be quiet. i'm trying to read.

johr-din. my name's johr-din.

over and over again.
ad infinitum.

BEING for the benefit of, er, jordan

i just wanted to give a shout-out to everyone and thank you all for your support so far. this whole process has been a wide-eyed experience, and the generosity has been overwhelming.

monday evening the three of us returned from indianapolis. we were visiting b/c we love everyone there, and also to attend 2 showers. i can't believe how much stuff we got. somehow, we managed to fit it all into the car and now it is spread throughout the house. in fact, the house and erin's mid-section are both swelling due to jordan. way to go, jordan. just when i felt like i had a handle on simplifying my life, you come along, and we have to get a lot more gear, and erin gets bigger too. thanks a lot, you recalcitrant child o' mine.

BUT ANYWAY. thanks to everyone for such thoughtful and meaningful gifts. the clock is ticking, and so is my ear. i think my ear is ticking from a lack of personal hygeine or something, though.